So You Want to Learn to Squirt During Sex (or Make Somebody Squirt)

Written by Alice Child, Somatic Sexologist

Somatic Sexologist Alice Child explains female ejaculation and squirting, and gives her top tips for how to make yourself or make somebody squirt during sex.

This guide contains general advice only. If you need more tailored advice, please book in a session.

Nope, it’s not pee. Even though it comes out of the urethra, the fluid isn’t urine. It looks, smells, and even tastes very different from what you’d expect.

Let’s clear a few things up about squirting!

• Squirting and orgasm are not the same thing - Sure, they can happen at the same time, but it’s totally normal to squirt without orgasming or have an orgasm without squirting.

• You can actually teach yourself to squirt— even if it’s never happened before! With the right mindset, context, and the right kind of stimulation, you can learn to squirt during sex.

• Squirting doesn't mean you're having the best sex of your life - (Although, maybe you are!) For many people, it’s just another cool physical reaction to certain types of stimulation.

• Some people squirt very easily, other people don't - everybodies different! There’s no right or wrong way to experience pleasure.

• Squirting isn’t better or worse than any other orgasmic experience - It’s just one of many ways your body can respond.

Oh, and squirting is NOT pee—we’ll dive into that more later…

So, what is squirting?

Squirting is when fluid is released from the urethra (yep, your pee-hole) during pleasure. It’s a natural response to stimulation, especially when the G-spot or clit are involved.

The amount of fluid can vary—sometimes it’s just a little, and other times it’s a lot. It can feel incredibly pleasurable and often happens at the same time as an orgasm, but not always!

What even is the fluid?

There’s plenty of debate, but here’s the basics:

First off, it’s not lubricant. The fluid released during squirting is completely different from vaginal lubrication, which tends to be thicker, more slippery, and is produced by specific glands in the vulva. Squirting fluid, on the other hand, is lighter and has its own unique texture.

And nope, it’s not pee either. Even though it comes out of the urethra, the fluid isn’t urine. It looks, smells, and even tastes very different from what you’d expect.

Where does it come from?

Instead of the bladder, squirting fluid comes from a spongey tissue that surrounds the urethra, called the urethral sponge. There’s a super-sensitive spot on this sponge known as the G-spot.

When this area gets stimulated during high arousal, it can do two things: 1) feel amazing, and 2) push the fluid from the sponge out of the body.. And voilà—that’s how squirting happens!

How can I learn to squirt during sex?

For squirting to occur, a magical combination of factors usually needs to come together. Let’s break them down:

1. Hydration – Make sure you’re well-hydrated, so drink plenty of water beforehand!

2. Time – Patience is key! The clitoris can take anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes to reach full arousal, so slow down and enjoy the ride—you’ll be here for a bit.

3. High Arousal – You need to be really turned on for squirting to happen, so make sure you’re at your peak pleasure. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things to reach that level of arousal!

4. Safety and Surrender – Squirting involves a feeling of “letting go,” so you need to feel safe, comfortable, and okay with making a bit of a mess. If you’re holding back, it likely won’t happen.

5. Stimulation of the Clitoris – External stimulation is key. Keep the focus on consistent, strong stimulation.

6. Fast, Strong, and Consistent G-Spot Stimulation – Internally, this is the game-changer. Quick, firm, and steady stimulation of the G-spot is often what triggers the release.

7. Bearing Down – At a certain point, it might feel like you need to pee. Don’t panic—bear down with your pelvic floor muscles and just let go!

Here are some additional tips to help you—or your partner—learn to squirt during sex!

Tip 1: Get in the zone

To kick things off, get yourself in the right mindset and ditch any expectations. Pressure isn’t sexy! If your main goal is to make your partner squirt just to boost your own ego, it’s time to shift your focus. The real aim of exploring new sexual experiences should always be about fun and pleasure—never pressure!

Think about what usually gets you in the mood and set up your space for success. Here’s what you might want to have on hand:

• Great lube (being well-lubed doesn’t mean you’re not turned on)

• A good playlist (perfect for getting out of your head)

• Your favorite vibrator or toy for clitoral stimulation

• A curved toy or G-spot vibe for internal stimulation

• A drop sheet or towel (things might get a little wet!)

  
  

And don’t forget to drink plenty of water—hydration is key!

TIp 2: Get comfortable and really turned on

You might be at this for a while—up to an hour or more! So, make sure you and your partner are comfortable, communicate, and take your time.

Start by building arousal slowly. Begin with something relaxing, like a full-body massage and igniting the erogenous zones, then move to a vulva massage, oral sex, or any other activities you both enjoy.

Keep in mind that the clitoris is made of erectile tissue. When aroused, it fills with blood and can increase in size by up to 300%, making it much more sensitive and pleasurable. This process can take anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes, so don’t rush it.

Pillow Play, (my online sex and intimacy game for couples) is a chance to for you and your partner to really build arousal with Game 9—Show and Tell Edging. By exploring each other's bodies and mastering the art of edging, you can enhance arousal and potentially unlock new experiences, including squirting.

TIp 3: Hit the right spots

When they’re ready (be sure to ask if you’re unsure), focus on stimulating the key areas that can make squirting happen. The stars of the squirting show are:

• The head of the clitoris (externally): Give it amazing and consistent stimulation with your hand or a vibrator.

• The G-spot/G-crest (internally): Use strong, fast, and consistent stimulation with your fingers or a G-spot toy or dildo.

• The pubic bone (just below the belly button): Applying pressure here can create extra pressure on the bladder and urethral sponge.

Tip 4: Relax

Squirting often requires a sense of surrender, letting go, and a big release. This can be challenging for many people, so here are some tips to help you relax and fully embrace the experience:

• Stay in your body, not your head: If you find your mind wandering, gently bring your focus back to your physical sensations.

• Play relaxing music: Create a soothing atmosphere that helps you stay calm and focused.

• Make sounds: Moan, sigh, groan—whatever feels natural. These sounds can enhance relaxation and pleasure.

• Practice deep breathing: Imagine your breath traveling all the way down into your vulva, helping you to relax more deeply.

• Move your body: Avoid tensing up. Instead, clench and release your pelvic floor muscles, and gently rock your pelvis with hip movements.

• When you feel the urge to pee: Don’t hold back—bear down and let it flow.

Tip 6: Don't worry if it doesn't happen

Just like with any new skill, teaching your body to squirt can take time, practice, and patience.

Even if you’re following all the tips, some people might find it more challenging or even impossible due to anatomical differences, like a greater distance between their urethral sponge and their vagina.

There are also various factors that can make surrendering difficult, such as feelings of shame or social stigma.

So, be kind to yourself, listen to your body, and focus on what feels good for you.

Best,

Alice x

Alice Child - Somatic Sexologist, Sex Therapy & Sex Counsellor - helps people achieve happier and healthier sex lives through 1:1 sex coaching, couples sex counselling, hens parties, and workshops. Book a session here.