Reviewed by Alice Child, Somatic Sexologist
Somatic Sexologist Alice Child unpacks the 5 erotic blueprints, and explains how to discover and explore yours!
This guide contains general advice only. If you need more tailored support, please book in a session.
Unlock your sexual potential by understanding you and your partners unique erotic blueprint.
What REALLY turns you on? What does great foreplay look like for you? What touch does your body adore?
The answers to these sorts of questions will be different for everybody - and that's part of what makes sex so fun and interesting!
Over the years, numerous Sex Therapists and Sexologists have studied these sorts of questions, and have created many different frameworks to understand the different ways that humans enjoy sex. One popular framework is the 5 Erotic Blueprints.
To find out more about your erotic blueprint and how to tap into it - book in a session!
What are Erotic Blueprints?
Somatic sexologist Jaiya developed the 5 Erotic Blueprints- aka the love languages of sex. Just like love languages, she observed that people speak different erotic languages, and it’s helpful to learn how to speak the erotic language of our partner.
What are the benefits of knowing your erotic blueprint?
More pleasurable sex! When you understand yourself and each other more deeply, you will have more satisfying, pleasurable and fulfilling sex and intimacy.
Better communication: The 5 blueprints are a great framework to open up your sexual communication, get curious about each other, and learn what great sex means to each of you. Couples who can talk openly about sex have better sex.
New ideas: Learning your erotic blueprints is a great opportunity to get new ideas and try new things.
Keep the spark alive: When you are both getting the kinds of sex and intimacy you enjoy, it's far more likely you will be able to maintain your erotic connection and attraction for each other - year after year.
What are the 5 Erotic Blueprints?
Feeling inspired? Keep reading to learn about the 5 blueprints, and see if you can work out what yours is! For more tailored support and ideas for you and your relationship, book in a session.
Sensual
The Sensual type is someone who gets turned on by having all five senses stimulated. These people love things like:
Massage candles / massage oils
Enjoying nice smells & textures
Setting the right mood with lighting
Their heightened awareness of their senses means they can go into an almost trance-like state when they are receiving pleasure. It can also enable them to experience intense, full-body orgasms, and their whole body often might feel like an erogenous zone with the right kind of touch and attention.
However, they can be easily distracted by anything that feels "off" in that space. For example, a bad smell or the wrong texture/sensation on their skin would be a big erotic break for them, and pull them out of the moment.
If you're the Sensual type, you'll love my Pillow Play games like Blindfolded Sensation Play, where you can explore erogenous zones, temperature play and new sensations.
You’ll also love Whiskey Kisses, a game designed to awaken all five senses through food play and sensual eating, helping you reconnect with how erotic and sensitive your mouth can be.
Energetic
The Energetic type is someone who gets turned on by the tease, anticipation, longing and yearning. This is someone who feels everything before the kiss/ touch happens.
They are the sorts of people who think "Oh, my goodness, they're about to kiss me! It's about to happen!". The energy before the kiss/ touch is just as exciting and as erotic for them, and they can have non-genital and touch free orgasms that are still very intense.
They might enjoy things like:
Sexual breathwork
Teasing and anticipation
Tantric massage
Eye gazing
'Almost touch'
If you're the Energetic type will love 5 Elements Tantric Massage, because it's all about deep connections, anticipation and slowness. This is one of the 18 games in Pillow Play.
Another game to enjoy is Yab Yum and Tantric Connection, which offers a chance to rekindle or deepen desire, intimacy, arousal, and learn to sync your bodies.
Sexual
The Sexual type is someone who is turned on by what we think of as sex in today's society. They love and experience arousal through things like:
Nudity/ genitals / erogenous zones
Strip tease
Penetration
These people can often get easily turned on, and see sex as something fun and relaxing that they don't have to overthink. Their arousal might feel simple and direct through the genitals, making it easy for them to dive right in and enjoy the moment.
If you're the Sexual type, you'll love the game Strip Roulette - sexy and silly undressing games that bring more confidence, anticipation, naughtiness, teasing, playfulness and connection when you reveal your body.
You'll also love May I Kiss Your Nipple, a perfect date night game, getting you kissing, touching, massaging and exploring new parts of each other!
Kinky
The Kinky type is someone who is turned on by the taboo, naughtiness and breaking social conventions.
There are many different types of 'kink': one is more focused on the psychological aspect, particularly power dynamics. For example, stepping into a more dominant role, or surrendering your power and stepping into a submissive role.
Another is more sensation-based, such as playing with stronger sensations like bondage, temperature play and spanking.
If you're the Kinky type, try X Marks the Spot in Pillow Play. It's a game of play fighting, role play, predator/prey and a fun way to explore 'rough sex'.
If you're the Kinky type that likes power dynamics, you'll love Artist and Muse, a kinky body confidence game to introduce power play, and you'll come away with some incredible nudes too!
Shapeshifter
The Shapeshifter type is someone who has the capacity to get turned on by all 5 of the blueprints, including the things that the sensual, sexual, kinky, and energetic types are turned on by.
These are people who can happily play across all of the different blueprints. In fact, it often really turns them on to learn what the erotic blueprint of their partner is, or what turns them on and adapting to their style.
If you're the Shapeshifter type, you'll might love all the Pillow Play games for different reasons!
Unsure of your Erotic Blueprint?
If you're not sure what your blueprint is, have a conversation with your partner! That's also what Pillow Play (my online sex and intimacy games for couples!) is all about.
It's so important to have a debrief after each game, so you can figure out not only which games are fun for you, but also why. That way, you can learn more about your blueprint and how to bring it into your life even more.
If you're wanting to uncover more about your erotic blueprint, check out the bonus worksheet, Awaken your Erotic Mind. And as always, if you need tailored support and advice, book in a session with me!
Best,
Alice x
Alice Child - Somatic Sexologist, Sex Therapy & Sex Counsellor - helps people achieve happier and healthier sex lives through 1:1 sex coaching, couples sex counselling, hens parties, and workshops. Book a session here.
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